Over the eons from across this vast universe, many have sent us transmissions asking how they too can look like an andromedan. Well, this is your lucky day because we are going to show you how to make your very own Two Guys From Andromeda sniffer. Be the envy of your friends and co-workers when you show up sporting one of the coolest appendages this side of the Pleiades.

You will be amazed at just how simple and inexpensive these facial appliances are to make following our easy, step-by-step instructions. So what are you waiting for? Let’s get Andromedized!

1 delicious and nutritious cream-filled Twinkie* snack.


Step 1: Remove wrapper from 1 Twinkie snack and bite off one end.


Step 2: Remove creamy filling using your tongue (or a straw if you prefer)


Step 3: Make Nostril holes- on the opposite end of the Twinkie, Carefully press your index finger into the spongy cake to create two nose holes* *this is very important for breathing while wearing your Andromedan nose.


Step4: Apply your new schnoz over your real nose and VOILA! Instant Andromedan


Results are simulated. Your results may vary.

Watch for future articles and How-Tos with tips on how to stand out from the crowd and alienate yourself. Next time: How to complete your Andromedan look with that vermillion Mohawk hairstyle you’ve always wanted.